I Have Stained My Own White.

I know I’m gullible but I never thought I’d be this gullible. In 2015, I met Nathan.

Nathan was a good boyfriend but he had small small anger issues here and there.

On some days, the slightest thing will trigger him and he would go on to say some of the most hurtful things to me. Let me give you an instance,

So I like to play matchmaker because, in my big head, I’m the Ajegunle version of Cupid. I wanted to bring two of my hopelessly single friends together so they could find happiness, get married and ride off into the sunset.

Well, the matchmaking worked. Dem no marry o but they had some chemistry which they tried to explore. I was so so happy and a bit wistful because it felt like watching your child grow up and find happiness.

Na so I say make I go tell my man o. HUGE MISTAKE.

This was how the conversation went.

“Babe! You remember my two friends Izu and Harriet? They’re a thing now o. I’m so happy for them. I and Izu go way back!” I said happily.

“Oh, nice. I’m happy for them”

“Shey? I’m even a bit sad that Izu now has a babe, I’ll miss teasing him about his single status. That yeye boy” I continued jokingly.

The next thing I heard was “Ehnn, this one that you’re going on and on about how you’ll miss him so much, why don’t you just go and date him yourself?”

“Date him ke? He’s my good friend na” I said, confused.

“So because he’s your good friend, he shouldn’t have a girlfriend? Why can’t you just be happy for him rather than sounding like a pained destiny destroyer?”

At this point, I got seriously offended and told him to stop but he kept going “That’s how you girls of nowadays behave” You’re 23 sir.

“You’ll have male besties and claim you guys are friends but secretly get jealous when they stop giving you attention. If you can’t be happy for him, you have no business being his friend.”

Omo. Bros, na play o. I just told him no wahala and went straight to bed. When I woke up the next morning, I saw plenty apology messages and missed calls. We settled and that was it.

Do you get the picture now? Okay, let’s continue.

The angry episodes continued and at some point, I got bored and started looking outside.

I eventually met Olumide. We got along so well that I started to fall for him. Because of this, I began to hatch up an escape plan so I can leave this angry bird and go be with the love of my entire life.

You’re probably wondering why don’t you just break up normally by telling him you cannot cope again.

Well, I’m a mumu. That’s why.

I sha told him that I was saving myself for marriage (I’m not, we talked about it) and since he isn’t then we cannot be together anymore. Shikena!

He got angry as usual, called me a child, a bitch etc He said I don’t deserve him and I’ve broken his heart.

Then he proceeded to block me everywhere.

More than I anticipated but meh. Olumide loveeeee, nibo le wa?

Long story short, Olumide served me breakfast.

🤡

After the breakfast, Nathan hadn’t unblocked me yet so I didn’t push it.

That’s until I found out that I wasn’t blocked on his Twitter. Ehhh?

It’s time to try and get him to forgive me and we’ll be friends again and see where it goes.

As for the anger issues, It’s been a year, I’m sure he has changed. People change all the time.

So with that mindset, I decided to hit him up.

“Wow, I thought I was blocked here as well. I guess I wasn’t lol. It’s been a while, how’ve you been? Please hit me up as soon as you can, I just want to talk.”

I hit send then waited.

He eventually responded and I apologised for the way I acted. Then we became friends or that’s what I thought anyway.

This man would only reply to my messages by 10pm ish talking about how he’s had a stressful day.

Sometimes, he’ll say he’s sad and wants to kiss my face. He wants to lie on my soft thighs, he wants to do this, he wants to do that.

At this point, my friends were telling me that he is acting suspiciously because why doesn’t he ever reply to my messages during the day?? Why always at night?

And why are the replies always flirty??

“Ehnn, maybe he’s just busy na. You know how things can get in this Lagos. I also love that he’s vulnerable with me and at night we won’t have any interruptions, so leave us alone abeg.” I told them delusionally.

Eventually, Nathan said he wanted to meet up because he had missed me and he wanted to see my face and all.

I excitedly told my friends that this was the meeting that would finally get us back together. We’d meet, rediscover our love for each other and bam!

Lovers again.

So I dressed up. Wore a very cute dress.

Got my hair done and was soon booking my Uber to the place we were supposed to meet.

My heart was doing gbish gbish. I got to my destination and texted him that I was there already. He said he was close.

Okay na.

5 minutes. 10 minutes. 20 minutes. I no see anybody.

I called, he wasn’t picking up.

I sent messages. Nothing.

Shey you dey whine me ni?

I got pissed, then sent one last message saying I was going home.

Later that night, he texted me saying his car broke down and his phone died yen yen yen.

“Let’s go out on Sunday, then we’ll go to my place and I’ll make it up to you” He offered.

Oyaa!

Sunday came. I got there and texted him again.

No reply.

After waiting for another 10 minutes, I got a text.

Quietly, I booked my ride home. Slept and never spoke about it to my friends.

What would you call me in this situation?