Struggling With Adulthood?
read this.
I’m going to be really transparent here so walk with me,
Adulting this year, for me, has been really hard. The next step is always filled with uncertainty, doubt, constant battles with overthinking and don’t forget the depressive episodes.
You want to move forward but you don’t know if you’re moving in the right direction. You want to take it one day at a time but at the same time, another mind is telling you that you don’t have much time left.
Tick tock.
You want to follow your passion but that passion cannot foot your bills because ehn, have you seen the dollar rate? Is it passion that will put food on your table? LOL.
And that’s not even the worst part.
The worst part of it all is that, despite all of these, you have to show up for yourself and carry on with life every day because if you don’t who will?
You could be falling apart and life wouldn’t give a rat’s ass because who you be?
Right from the moment I finished university, I’ve always wanted to be a Product manager. It took me years of hard work, networking, and rejection but I managed to accomplish that dream.
But somewhere somehow, I found out that I was living someone else’s expectation of me. This made me feel incredibly unfulfilled and unhappy because deep down, it really wasn’t what I wanted to do.
I was pursuing a career that another person thought might be a good fit and not what I THOUGHT might be a good fit for me. Don’t get me wrong, it was rewarding in its own way but a part of me was miserable which is funny because I was getting paid well but, as crazy as it may sound, I wasn’t using it to do anything. I was only using it for data and the occasional asun rice.
The rice sweet sha.
I soon realised that I couldn’t keep living like this. I had to do something. So I started to write full-time and for the first time in a long time, I had something I’d longed for.
Clarity.
Freedom.
I started to write more. I began to explore other writing types, and I even collaborated on a project that would definitely open doors for me. With all of these, you’d think it’s all roses and jollof rice from here.
No. It wasn’t.
No one prepared me for the imposter’s syndrome, the constant self-doubt. The fear, low esteem, constant comparison with other writers, the struggle to come up with ideas.
And, most importantly, the never-ending battle of whether to just go back and take a job just so I can pay my bills or see the bigger picture and keep going by making strategic decisions and so on. No one prepares you for that.
I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy journey but… whew!
Am I in low spirits? Yes.
Will I quit? Absolutely not!
Why am I writing this then?
I’m writing this to tell anyone who cares to read this that, it’s all going to be okay.
I know life can be confusing being a young adult fresh out of NYSC trying to find your way in the world.
I know that most times, it gets too much and you just want a breather.
I need you to know that your feelings are valid.
Don’t beat yourself up because you haven’t had any sort of clarity. It’ll come to you.
And for those who have found their passion, keep working towards it.
Be strategic. Pray. Be consistent and most importantly…
Don’t give up.
Therefore, take no thought about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take thought about the things of itself. Sufficient to the day is the trouble thereof. — Matthew 6:34.
Thank you for reading.
